


What Happens for a Reason

by SurveyCorpses



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accident, Alcohol, Drinking, Harm, Love, M/M, Plot, Smoking, broken relationship, ereri, im sorry, riren - Freeform, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:50:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2575457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SurveyCorpses/pseuds/SurveyCorpses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Levi's relationship had been breaking ever since the tragedy. Eren turned to alcohol, leaving Levi on his own, as if Eren isn't even there anymore. Levi is determined to make this work again, and to get back the Eren that he loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fight

**Author's Note:**

> I try to post every few days, sometimes even daily. Highschool is packed, so please be understanding. I will do the best I can :) Two fanfiction to write now... Sigh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi have been having problems ever since Carla died in an accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second fanfiction.. Please be nice :) PLEASE TELL ME SPELLING ERRORS.  
> Thanks, enjoy. Feel free to give me feedback..

The crack sent an echo around the room.

"You never fucking do anything around here!" I shouted, pieces of glass scattered on the floor. Eren sat on the couch, looking uninterested.

How had this started _this_ time? Eren refused to do the dishes. Or anything, for that matter. He just lay on the couch all day, drinking beer and expecting sex in return. He had changed, definitely. Things were different before the accident.

Eren sat up, squeezing the empty can in his hand.

"Oh really?" He shouted, "and what about the money you spend on those damn cigarettes?"

"What about the booze, Eren?!" I was yelling now, "you go through those like candy! Just because your mom-"

"Don't you dare talk about her, you shit!"

The yelling was seized by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it, obviously. You just stay on the couch comfortable like you _always_ do."

I stomped towards the door, swinging it open. There stood Hanji, a frown growing. 

"Levi," She started, pursing her lips, "you and Eren, um, maybe it's time you-"

"I know what you're going to say, Hanji, but really. W-we have this under control." I stuttered.

"You were yelling pretty loudly... The other people in the apartments were asking me to settle this.."

"I can take care of it, so tell them to mind their own damn business." I glared and slammed the door. I  turned back towards him, only to find he had gotten another can. I clenched my fists.

"Are you kiddi-" I stopped and bit my lip, feeling tears swelling in my eyes. I cleared my throat. "I'm going to bed. You can sleep there all night." I stormed into the bedroom and shut the door. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, I wished I could say I wasn't upset. But I was crying, and I knew this relationship was becoming tenuous. I remembered the time when there wasn't fighting, other than simple disagreements. But after a few months ago, everything changed.

 

Eren and I were sitting on the couch, watching _The Breakfast Club_. The movie was halfway over, and he was lying down next to me, head on my lap and my fingers in his hair. It was March twenty-eighth, two days before his 21st birthday. I had planned a huge surprise, a trip to a cruise, that same day. 

My phone vibrated, lighting up with a message. I picked it up, a text from his sister.

[7:35] Mikasa: Turn on the news, Now.

A shiver crept down my spine. I handed the phone to Eren, and switched to the said channel. The story was of an accident. A minivan was hit by a truck on the highway, knocked off the road and turned upside down. 

Carla.

She was coming over tonight, another present I had planned. But it couldnt be her, I was sure of it.

Almost.

Eren covered his mouth and stared at the screen. He dialed frantically, and his chest rose and fell, hyperventilating.

"Mom? Mom are you okay? Please pick up!" He yelled, tearing up.

The camera's shot went infront of the car, and the license plate was shown. 

I pulled Eren into my arms and squeezed him tight, keeping my own crying inside. 

 

     I stood up, stumbling towards the small porch outside our bedroom. On my way, I reached in the bedside drawer, obtaining a cigarette box and my lighter. It looked as if it were going to rain, and if I wanted to do this, I'd better do it then. Besides, if I did it out here, Eren wouldn't know, and he wouldn't get mad.

And Eren is a violent drinker.

I leaned my elbow over the balcony and lit one, propping it between my lips, taking a long breath of it. I parted my lips and the smoke swirled out around me. I'd heard a thousand times what it could do, what it _would_ do. Eren used to hide them, but until a few months ago, he stopped giving the effort. It was strange, though. I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Because that simple action displayed his thoughts about me, that he actually cared. But that was the past.

I heard footsteps, uneven and stomping. He was definitely drunk. But I didn't have to worry, I locked the door when I came in.

I thought I did.

Questioning myself, I debated running to the door and locking it before he could get to me. I took a step, but it was too late. The door creaked open, and he peered in. 

"E-Eren I-" I stumbled on my words. I could feel the flare in his eyes, and at that moment I feared for my safety. His eyes seemed to travel over my body. When Eren wasn't drunk, I could boss that brat around like nobody's business. But when he was, nothing I said could phase him. My eyes darted back to the porch, or the bathroom. He couldn't move very fast, so that was my best bet.

I sprinted over the bed and lurched into the bathroom, locking the door and standing with my back against it. The door shook with bangs and kicks.

"You bastard, open this door! Whore!" He spit the words at me like bullets. I slid down the wooden door and sat on the floor, knees to my chest and covering my ears. The door shook as he hit it, knocking me against it. "It's your fault that I'm like this! It's all because you invited her over! She died because of you!" He'd go to bed, or pass out. It'd be over soon. His words echoed over and over, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shut it out. All I could do was sob.

  _It's all my fault... All my fault.._

 The tile floor came into focus slowly as I opened my eyes. I must have taken a towel from the rack while I was asleep and wrapped it around me. I sat up. The light poked through the blinds of the window. It was morning, I was in here all night. I crawled over and put my ear against the door, and heard Eren's slow breathing. I cautiously opened it. I covered my mouth and nose at the sight of him, curled up on the floor and vomit around him.

"Eren..." I sat next to him and tangled my fingers in his brown hair. He must have been exhausted. I sighed and picked him up, and changed his clothes, then put him in bed. I sat in the edge and watched him.

"We're to make this work again, I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need all the tissues I can get.  
> #SendTissuesForFanficWriters PASS IT ON


	2. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the next morning, Eren's sober, things seem like they'll go well for Levi. 
> 
> But this isn't a damn romance novel.

How could I sleep? It was like trying the impossible. Eren slept peacefully next to me, like nothing happened at all. But what I couldn't shake from my mind is, if I hadn't made it to the bathroom, what would have happened? The look of his eyes when he ran after me, like all the thoughts of loving me were drained by the booze. What scared me more was, what if it wasn't taken by the alcohol. Maybe it wasn't there at all.

But I still loved him. I loved that brat to bits. It hurt how much I loved him. Damn it, I  _wished_ I didn't love him. If I could, I'd leave. I would definitely be better off, no doubt. But emotion is a bitch, dragging me more and more down into the grave I dug when I fell for the kid.

Eren's mouth had opened slightly, and he was breathing out air peacefully. His expression looked calm, and the anger that I remembered from a while ago had left. It was almost peaceful. Like normal.

I smiled slightly, one thing that Eren almost never saw me do. The smoothness of his cheeks, his cute little nose.. And those eyes, God those eyes. Those emerald eyes could make me lose myself, they were so beautiful. He was so beautiful. He was...

Do you see my problem here? Shut up, Levi. This isn't a middle school crush, this is the guy who looked like he wanted to tear you apart a few hours ago. He shouldn't have drank, he was so different when he did.

_That wasn't Eren, that was the alcohol._

I ran my thumb over his cheek, down to his jawline. I ignored the tear that snuck out down my cheek to my chin, because I knew I was losing him, and fast. This was the Eren I loved. The shy, nervous shit I met years ago. Yet, the only person I ever knew that was brave enough to snap a sarcastic comment at me, only to be absolutely burned. Except for shitty glasses, of course. But she was an exception, nothing scared her. 

My fingers trailed over his button lip, the lips that I hadn't touched in ages. I couldn't call myself a man at that moment, because the tears just kept coming. I leaned down and tilted his chin up to reach my own lips. It was a peck, not much at all. But finally having a shred of intimacy involving him was releaving. When I sat up, I noticed that he had woken up.

"Eren... I.." I tried to form words desperately. I was fucked, royally fucked. Avoiding the awkward conversation of my not-so-much-of-a boyfriend, I stood up and walked out of the room. 

I hear a faint call for my name, but turning back wouldn't do me any good. Besides, maybe if I just got rid of it all. No booze equals regular Eren, right? More or less. I was gathering the cans, the bottles, anything I could find. The hatred for them pooled in my gut.

_You fuckers, Eren could've been successful._

Before the accident, Eren was going through college courses. Not just any, though. University of Shiganshina. He was studying architecture, and he was damn good at it. Designing buildings in countless notebooks. He'd stay up late, and around 1 am, I'd make hot chocolate for him. Then we'd fall asleep together.

I threw the drinks out. Out of the house, and hopefully out of my life. I walked back in, looking something to eat. I heard the door creak open, followed by faint footsteps. Eren rounded the corner, hugging a pillow to his chest as he looked at me groggily. His hair was a tangled mess, and he had drool on his cheek. 

"Good morning, Levi... What's for breakfast?" he mumbled quietly.

_Whatever you make for yourself, dipshit._

I almost said it, I really did. "I was going to make waffles.." I turned away from him, taking out the cheap box from the freezer. 

"I think I might sleepwalk, one second I'm on the couch, and the other I'm waking up in bed." He muttered.

"You don't sleepwalk, you just don't remember things when you're drunk." I sputter, not meaning to sound so harsh.

"Then what happened?" 

I felt the rage in me. I felt like yelling, screaming at him. I balled my fists and turned towards him.

"I guess you don't remember calling me a slut, then. Which is quite odd, to be fair, considering you haven't even looked me straight in the eye for months. So why I earned that title completely confuses me. God, Eren, my life would be so much easier if I just le-"

"Then why don't you?" he stood, "Don't let my messed up state hold you back, go get a life! Forget about me and just succeed, don't fucking watch over me. Like you said, it's not getting you anywhere. So just go!"

"If I left you, you'd lose all your money and your home. Hell if I'm going to leave you like that. Because in case you haven't noticed," I hestitated, "I-I still love you." My lip trembled, and he sat back down.

"I.." I raised an eyebrow at him as he struggled to find the words, "I love you, too.." 

I rolled my eyes at this comment. "Yea, bullshit. Dropping someone off the face of the earth doesn't exactly show much affection."

He was frantically trying to find the words to prove me wrong. The bastard was trying to deny what I'm telling him. I could have proved it to him, knowing he'd try and drink in a few hours.

Which is why I was happy with my work. No drinks to be seen.

"If you want to prove me wrong, then spend time with me. " I crossed my arms, already knowing the answer.

"Fine."

Wait what?

Maybe I didn't know.

"Eren, I mean like now," I said, still in disbelief. He nodded. "Like... A movie...?" Another nod. I was shocked. Maybe this would work.

I sat stiff on the couch, next to him. Damn him, acting like this is a normal thing that we would do. Maybe in the past, but now? Not in a million years. Yet here we were. I'm not even paying attention to the T.V because _holy shit,_ this was Eren. And his head was on my lap, and it was calm. I ran my fingers through his brunette locks, almost nervous to be doing this again. He doesn't love me. Why am I doing this. I wasn't even me anymore.

"I think you were lying, brat." I bite my lip.

I am definitely not assured by the silence. But he does speak finally.

"Maybe if you spent time with me in the first place." 

My jaw dropped. I could not believe he said that.

"Y-you fucking," I paused, "I couldn't spend time with you! You drank all the time! And when you weren't drunk, you'd be asleep, or fighting with me!" I shoved him off me and stood up. He sat upright.

"Levi, are you unhappy?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, you shit, I am unhappy." I snap at him, the harshness rolling off my tongue easily.

"Then leave." He said it so simply, as if the thought didn't even hurt him, not even close to how it hurt me.

"Fine. I'll go." 

And I did, right then and there. I ran out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid to be mauled by a bunch of fan girls covered in tears and tissues.  
> IT HURTS ME AS MUCH AS IT HURTS YOU.


	3. Cans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji tries to fix things when Levi comes to her house after leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay fun story time, this is the second time I'm writing this chapter. God must be against me, because the wifi broke while I was ALMOST DONE with the chapter, and I never saved (I know, my fault. Still.) SO I'm writing it again. Fun, enjoy.

    I didn't go anywhere, I went to go and pester Hanji. That always made me feel better. Either smoking, or trying to annoy Hanji. I didn't want to cry, I wanted to distract myself until I could think of a way to get myself back home, and back to normal. But this  _was_ the normal now, right? 

Hanji never failed to show her classy side. I found her spare house key in a matter of seconds, under the rug. When I walked in, she was asleep on the floor, messy brown hair in a ponytail and drooling on a science book. I rolled my eyes and stepped over her, slightly kicking her side, and looked around her apartment. 

There was a fine difference between shitty glasses and I. Her home was a dump. Papers everywhere with dumb ass theories, food wrappers on the floor, dust here and there. It was insane, just like her.

"Mm, what was that for.." She grumbled as she sat up, wiping her drooly cheek. Disgusting.

"Tch, you're nasty." I reached down and tugged at her hair, making her jump.

"What are you doing here, shorty?" 

"I'm here to kick my boot up your ass, if you call me short again," I sighed, "I just came to visit, that's all." I lied.

"That's all?" She questioned.

No, of course that's not all. But I hated being felt sorry for, especially from Hanji. She was a grade-A pain in the ass, but I somehow got attached to her. Maybe because she wasn't afraid of me. I liked it better, not bringing drama into the already strange relationship. But there was a reason she was a scientist, she was smart. 

"Alright, then if everything's fine, what about we go over back to your place? I'd _love_ to see Eren again." She crosses her arms. There was no tricking this woman. 

"Fine, since you take me for a liar, I'll prove to you that everything is perfectly fine, perfectly normal." That normal part was correct.

 "Perfect." She mocked and stood up up, linking arms with me, which I immediately resisted from. Dragging me back home, she pushed me infront of the door and waited.  _What if he was drunk? What if he passed out?_ I cleared my throat, ignoring the thought. Besides, I got rid of the alcohol. I unlocked the door and pushed it open. Peering in, I regretted leaving.

 

I must have forgotten a stash, because the floor was covered in empty cans. The smell of them was high in the air, and I covered my nose. Eren was nowhere to be seen. I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

"Levi, maybe we should go talk to-"

"It's no use, Hanji!" I was suddenly aware of the tears running down my cheeks. "Drunk or not, he's not going to listen." I held my breath to keep in the cries.

"If we don't even try.." Her voice had gone quiet, almost soothing, and different from her normal tone.

"Fine, waste your time." I avoided eye contact. Shit, I hated when people saw me like this.

She had a loose grip on my wrist, and she was pulling me around, looking for him. We passed the bedroom, and there he was. Sprawled out on the bed, wearing boxers and an old t-shirt. But it wasn't just any shirt, it was mine. _Why would he be wearing my shirt?_

I tried to back out, aware of the strong smell lingering from him. Hanji pulled me with her, and pushed me on the bed next to him. She sat in the chair to the side, looking at us both.

"Eren, how are you?" She said calmly, as I tried to move away from him.

"Greeaat, glasses lady." His words were slurred as he spoke.

"Can I talk to you about something?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I guess soooo.." He mumbled as he moved closer to me. I bit my lip as his fingers trailed up my leg, making it closer up my thigh. I cringed and stared at her.

"H-Hanji!" I stuttered. "I told you, it's not going to fucking work. He's  _drunk._ At least wait until he's sober!" I tugged away from his grip. He let out an annoyed huff, and I glared at him.

"Fine, we will wait." she sighed and stood up, grabbing my arm and tugging me out of the room, closing the door behind her. "I'm sorry, that was my fault."

"No, I-it's not your fault. It's fine, really. It's not like it hasn't happened before.." I mumbled as I nervously straightened my now wrinkled pants.

 

A few hours later, Hanji had fallen asleep. Whatever she was studying at night didn't help her, she was a tired mess. I stood up and headed towards the bathroom, looking in the mirror. _Damn, I look like shit._ I turned around to leave, and I was met by a pair of green eyes. I jumped back, surprised. 

"H-hold on, please." He whispered, looking over at Hanji. There was pain in those eyes, and I felt bad for him.

"What is it, Eren." I sighed. This should be good.

"Please come back." 

What.

"Eren.." 

He paused. "I'll get better, I promise! Please come back, I need you." He tugged my shirt. My eyes were wide, surprised by his sudden acknowledgement of me. 

"You've said it before, Eren. How do I know you're going to keep your promise."

"I can't prove it, I know. But if you still love me at all, can you find any reason to trust me?"

I couldn't believe it. Eren was wondering if  _I_ still loved him? This was beyond crazy. Hell, I shouldn't trust him. Anyone in the right mind wouldn't.

But I would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just point out how amazing I am at titles and summaries.. -loud groan-
> 
> Next chapter *should* be up today or tomorrow!


	4. Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi misunderstands and makes a harsh decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Uh. I'm sorry. I got a monsterous writers block for like two days and eventually got so frustrated I kept NOPEing the entire thing. But I did it, so.. Sorry.  
> And I'm still not very happy with the way it turned out.. I'll do better next chapter and (hopefully) not as many feels. SORRY

The problem with expectations is you'll be surprised if anything other than planned happens. I had an expectation that we wouldn't fight, that it'd be peaceful, and that he wouldn't drink. 

Hanji woke up soon after I met him in the bathroom, and I was still as shocked as ever. She seemed nervous, having me around him. She was probably still thinking of the groping that happened prior to him being sober. I gave her a look of reassurance. 

"Don't worry, when he isn't drunk, I can take care of myself." I gave a dominant look to Eren, and he tilted his head on confusion.

"But what if he tries to touch y-"

"I did what?!" Eren's eyes widened at the mention. "What did I do to Levi?" His face was drained of color. I looked over at her nervously.

"Nothing, you did nothing. It's alright." I cringed, thinking back to it. Hanji crossed her arms and sighed. 

"Can I talk to him now." She huffed. I nodded and sat next to him on the couch. She went across from us in an armchair, spending no time leaning back and relaxing. She cleared her throat.

"Okay, Eren, how are we solving this." She sunk into the soft fabric.

"First of all how'd you get all this booze. I thought I got rid of it all." I snapped.

"I have.. someone bought more for me," he muttered.

"Who?" I grabbed his arm. He shrugged. "Fine, you don't have to tell me. But if you drink again, I'll leave." That was a white lie. I'd come back, of course. 

"I won't." He put his head on my lap and I tensed up.  It was like this on the night of the accident. The memories flooded back to me and I pushed him off.

_It's All My Fault.._

When I jumped back to reality, Hanji and Eren were looking at me with confused expressions. I cleared my throat.

"Oh, uh, sorry." I shook my head. "I mean, what the hell are you looking at. Fucking... Brats.." I tried to keep a straight face.

"Fine, I won't do that then.." Eren mumbled. I bit my lip and sighed. 

"No, that's not it. It's just.. Damnit." I yanked at his shirt collar and brought him back on my lap. He relaxed. 

"Wow, it looks like I don't have to do anything right now.. Levi if something happens, call me. I'm right across the hall." 

 

Then we were alone. 

"Hey, I'm going to go take a nap, is that okay?"

I looked down at him. "I guess so." I lifted him off and stood up. 

"Thanks," he got up and went to the bedroom.

_It already felt like everything was alright again. I could have a full conversation with him. There wasn't fighting, or drinking, or-_

I opened the door slowly, peeking in. Eren wasn't sleeping. He was sitting up on the bed, eyeing a bottle in his hand. I shut the door quietly and backed up.

_You should have known. He wouldn't give it up for you._

I ran into the bathroom, closing the door and opening cabinets frantically.

_You'll be okay._

 I reached inside, searching.

_Where the fuck is it._

I felt my finger graze across something sharp.

Pulling my hand out, crimson dripped down my finger. I reached in again and pulled out the silver razor blade. Pulling down my pants, I stare at my thigh, showing little signs of scars. I run my palm over the smooth skin. I lifted off, and looked at the smeared blood from my hand. The sight burned at my chest, and I swallowed hard before pressing the blade to the skin. 

_Breathe._

I swiped my arm to the side, opening skin. I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

_Again._

A new cut over the previous. Red beads of blood pooled over the gash.

_Again._

I relaxed.

_Another._

I lost track of time. Opening my eyes, I dropped the blade on the floor. My once pure skin was now covered in crosses and grids of cuts, blood staining the surface. I leaned back against the cabinet and breathed steadily.

_Peaceful._

 

"Levi?"

I froze in fear. I heard searching.

"Levi where are you? Answer me?" His footsteps were coming closer. I grabbed a towel and covered my leg, kicking the razor under the cabinet. I reached up for the doorhandle. Before I made it, the knob turned. I quickly held onto it, trying to keep it shut.

"I found you!" He giggled innocently and pushed his weight on the door. I couldn't keep it closed, of course. The towel was staining through with red, and it was quiet. He and I stared at each other.

"Eren I-" I stared in disbelief. "A-aren't you drunk?" I pushed the towel over it more to keep him from lifting it up. I winced at the pressure on the tender skin.

"No! I was just looking at it! I didn't do anything, like I promised! Damnit, Levi, let me see!" He tugged up on it. I put more pressure on it, and tried to kick him away.

"Levi!" Tears were staining his cheeks. My lip trembled, and I let go. He yanked it off, and backed up. "Why would you.."

"It's nothing. Don't-" I let out a sound of discomfort. It stung.

"This isn't nothing!" He ran his fingers around the cuts, and I yelped.

"Stop!" I looked away. 

"You should have talked to me if you thought... Jesus Christ Levi.." 

"Stop pitying me. I said I was alright. And it's not like this was for thinking you were drinking, so don't assume I did it for nothing." I clenched my teeth. "Can you please leave m-"

"No! I'm cleaning you up, and I-" 

"We both know you suck at that. You'll make it worse."

"Well I can try!" 

I clicked my tongue in disapproval. "Fine." 

He had no idea what he was doing, trying to wipe the blood off with a dry cloth. I sighed and pushed him away, cleaning it myself. I wrapped it up in a bandage, and looked up. Placing a hand on his cheek, which was wet with tears, I smiled weakly.

"Don't do that again. Please." He whispered.

"I guess." I sighed. "I'm really tired. Could you-" Before I could finish, I was lifted into his arms, and he carried me to our room.

"H-hey look, Levi. You're tall for once." He teased.

"Yeah, and you'll be short when I break your legs." I scoffed. I hoped it could go on like that, pretending it didn't happen.

He placed me down on the bed and pulled the blanket over me, wrapping me up.

"Brat, I'm not a kid. I don't need to be tucked in." I smirked. "Lie down with me." He got in bed next to me, his knee hitting my thigh. I cringed.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" He panicked. I nodded and leaned into him. He was warm, and I had my ear on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was calming, and I closed my eyes.

"It's alright." I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, and we didn't say a word.

_Peaceful._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously idk where I was going with this sorry.


End file.
